SOC: That's _Mr._ Asshole to you!

Mark Balzer (m-balzer@STUDENTS.UIUC.EDU)
Fri, 9 May 1997 12:59:15 -0600

It has come to my attention recently that many of you are unhappy with
my performance as president.

You can all kiss my hairy white ass.

You have NO IDEA how frustrated I am with all of you! I have been
working with incompetent officers who are unwilling to pull their
weight. The membership (i.e. YOU) has been unwilling to lift a fucking
finger to help. So shut up, or put up!

To those who we finally got to accept positions next year, good luck!
You'll need it!

This club has been one big black hole of time for me! I am completely
unappreciated. The only way to get the other officers to do a thing has
been to bully them to the point of harrassment! I actually like the
power trip this gives me...

Pretty much the only satisfaction I have gotten this year has been
sleeping with every beginner I can coerce, bullying those I dislike, and
using the club's money as my own private bank account.

Despite this, it has been only through MY personal astute business
acumen that the club has not gone bankrupt this year, as CERTAIN offers
were so incompetent it seems a miracle they did not bankrupt us.

Yet do I hear a word of thanks?

NO!!!

So FUCK YOU ALL!!!

-- Mark